trumpetandtrombone said: The Australian is amazing at accomplishing great feats without getting out of his seat. You should see him grabbing magazines from under the coffee table by twisting himself over the arm of the chair, or reach for things that are juuuuuust over there. Hammer and Letters applaud his ingenuity to remain as lazy as possible and score his various attempts on a scale of 1 to 10.
The first time Numbers witnessed him operating the remote with his feet, he refused to come over for a month. The Australian was awarded an actual trophy for that one.
Ahaha, oh yeah. He’s a master of the art of throwing things in the bin from a long distance, and scooting around everywhere on his wheely office chair. He also improvises solutions, such as taping together chopsticks so he has a stick to turn off switches with, or removing his belt and using it to catch hold of things and pull them within grabbing distance.
Once, Hammer came back from a trip with one of those extendable grabber things as a present for Aussie. Sure, they’re generally meant to be used by the elderly and people with limited mobility, but Aussie thought it was brilliant - not only had Hammer unthinkingly sabotaged his own habit of winding up Aussie by placing things where they were too high for him to reach, he could now grab people’s butts without even having to leave his chair.
The Australian is basically permanently 15 years old. He devotes all his cleverness and intelligence toward doing as little as possible.
It does make one wonder what he could do if he applied himself to something more useful than pinching butts and grabbing fruit out of the bowl on the table without getting up.
Okay, I know I promised filthy sex-pollen smut for post #500, but somehow, what I attempted just wasn’t wanting to work.
So what I actually have for you today is somewhat more romantic, though no less smutty, inspired by various discussions about ‘everyone lives’ AUs, and by this beautiful fanart.
THE AU WHERE EVERYONE LIVES AND EVERYONE IS OKAY.
AND HAVE A LOT OF SEX.
I love waking up to assloads of amazing stuff on tumblr. It’s a joy.